Old dogs, new tricks

My weekend has been both pleasant and unpleasant. Whilst I’m often fond of thinking that I’m a good person, and I try to moderate my behaviour so that I can be one, I sometimes fail. On Friday night I did something so naughty that I can’t even report it on a family show like this, but needless to say I don’t feel very proud of myself. Why do I do these things?

Well, it’s partly because I’m still readjusting to my new life. It was exactly one year ago today that I moved out of the stable setting I’d been occupying for so many years, and into my new existence as a single man in this city apartment. It seems like only yesterday that this happened, and back then I couldn’t have predicted that I’d still be here twelve months later, nor that I’d be able to recount the plethora of bizarre antics that I’ve been involved in over the year. But enough is enough - twelve months is quite adequate as a readjustment period, and the excuses now have to end.

So, now I am embarking on a new life. A life of sobriety, propriety, decorum and restraint. I shall closely study my Buddhism books; I shall remember to smile nicely at everyone I meet; I shall be kind to animals, old ladies and children; and I shall finish my novel.

[Hang on, you’ll have to excuse me – I just have to open another bottle of wine; back in a moment]

Now, [slurp] where was I? Oh yes, this eBay business. I know the site has been going for years but I’ve never used it before, being a bit of a Luddite in such matters. Anyway, I decided to sell something recently so I duly set up my account and posted details of my item for sale. Things were going well - with a few reasonable bids - until it was time for the auction to close. Imagine my delight to receive an email from eBay saying “Congratulations! You have sold your item – please invoice the bidder.” The price I had been offered was twice what I was expecting, so I was very happy indeed. Then, minutes later, I received another email from eBay informing me that the bidder was a fraudster and that my item had been removed from the list while they were “now restoring the account to its owner”.

I was confused. So I wrote to eBay to complain and guess what? I received a very detailed, extremely courteous and informative personal response explaining exactly what had happened and how eBay had taken the necessary steps to protect me. I’m impressed – customer service like this is hard to come by indeed, so well done to all you hidden gnomes on eBay and keep up the good work. Whoever is in charge of its Customer Service Department should hot-foot it down to BT and show them how it’s done.

Oh no, don’t get me started on BT. This is supposed to be my new life, where everything is all sweetness and light….. I’ll keep you posted.

By the way – having finally got rid of the stray cat in my life, I now have Boo-Boo the Bear Cub to deal with. Will I ever learn?