We want the truth!

You will remember what I was saying the other day about not believing everything you read? Well, my daughter’s French boyfriend and I were discussing the issue of how many cheeses General de Gaulle said it would take to render a country ungovernable. We all know his famous quote “How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?” or so we think we know. French Boyfriend and I couldn’t remember exactly how many cheeses were mentioned in this speech – I thought it was 462; French Boyfriend thought it was 673. But no, according to Google it was 246 although even that is disputed.

Wikepedia tells us that it might be 246, 256, or 265. What’s more, different quotes are attributed to this momentous pronouncement; and even different dates. Some sources place it in 1951, some in 1962; some say it begins: “How can anyone govern….” whereas others say: “Nobody can simply bring together a country that has 265 kinds of cheese” which I have to say sounds more plausible, even though the actual number of cheeses is at odds with most sources. Perhaps the problem is in the translation – maybe we should read the French version to find out. But my question is this: Why isn’t such an important speech accurately documented? Okay, so maybe a speech about cheeses isn’t quite as important as “Ich bin ein Berliner” – what a howler that was - or “I have a dream” (which might explain why Charles de Gaulle wasn’t shot), but surely we could expect some accuracy on this subject?

So, if we can’t believe Google or Wikipedia, what can we believe? Certainly not the internet which, in the same category as searching for de Gaulle’s quote, says that Britain has 700 varieties of cheese, which must be an absolutely blatant lie. I challenge you to name them. I only managed thirteen.

Another thing which annoys me (while we’re on the subject of Grumpy Old Men) is the ridiculous ritual of drinking Tequila. All that salt and lemon nonsense is so 1970s. Why can’t such things just be enjoyed for what they are? So I say: drink your Tequila naked; and eat your cheese with abandon.