Back by Popular Demand

I learned something interesting tonight – I learned that depression is actually the body’s way of telling us that we’re in the wrong place and that we need to change direction. Likewise, suicidal feelings should not be taken literally, but should be recognized as a signal that we’ve reached a cul-de-sac in our lives and that we must (as the person we are) die. The sad thing is, that many people do not realize that these feelings are just a message and they do take them literally, and therefore kill themselves.

This is all very sad. I sometimes get depressed, and have sometimes even considered ending it all – but these feelings have always puzzled me. Now I know why. Even though I’ve often woken in the night and thought that if I had a gun under the pillow (as I’m sure many Americans do), I’d put it to my temple and pull the trigger, I know that I’d never really do it. I’m too curious about life; too nosey I suppose. There’s this theory about all those young people who have committed suicide in Wales that they view death as a romantic notion and have never really grasped that it’s quite fatal. Death is terminal; it’s final. As a potential Buddhist I suppose I should hold a different view – reincarnation is of course the answer – but who wants to risk that?

When you’re dead, you can’t drink in Muse Bar until 1:00 a.m. And when you’re dead, you can’t continue to hope that life – just around the corner – won’t throw up just the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. We’re told that we should try to suppress our ego – but if we do that, we kill ourselves. Wouldn’t it be better to make friends with our ego, and walk alongside it to make us a better person?

I think so.