No Pussyfooting!

I had a dream last night in which I was listening to someone telling me something I didn’t want to hear. To my astonishment I found myself saying to this person: “Oh, would you mind awfully if I asked you to stop speaking? I know you are interested in what you are saying to me, but I am not. I would really prefer not to listen to you any longer so if you don’t mind, please be quiet.” I said all of this in a very cheery tone and with a charming smile on my face. The person I was with (I know not who it was) readily agreed to my request and furthermore, bore no ill-feeling towards me for having made it.

How refreshing if this were how things worked in real life. But no, for in real life we often find ourselves patiently listening to things which hold no interest for us and yet, because of our innate politeness, we are powerless to terminate. The funny thing about dreams is that everything appears to be feasible and rational – I remember in this one thinking how easily I had ended the conversation and even wondering why I had never employed such a simple and effective measure before. I made a commitment to use this method from then on and this had the immediate effect of making me feel confident and socially assured.

Of course, upon waking I realized immediately that this is impossible. There are many situations in life where this wouldn’t work, and some where it wouldn’t even be desirable. We all like to make a good impression on people and this means that we sometimes have to bear out being talked to when in truth, we’d either like to be talking ourselves, or listening to something more interesting. There are certain nuances of etiquette that prevent us from being completely honest with other people; our desire to rub along nicely with our fellow human beings often subjugates our wish to speak our minds. This is a social requirement, but one which I wish were not present. Today I am going to try an experiment. At the risk of alienating myself from those around me, I am going to employ this method whenever I’m listening to something I don’t want to hear. With a friendly smile and a caring (but firm) tone, I shall hold up my hand and ask the speaker to stop. I fully appreciate that this action may be reciprocated and that I may also be asked by others to end what I am saying, but that is as it should be, and I won’t be able to complain. At least this method will display more courtesy than the alternative of simply being interrupted or talked over (which I often am). I’m looking forward to this experiment and if I succeed in having any friends left by the end of the day, I’ll let you know.

Another thing I’m going to do today is to write a list of things to do. I am anticipating this list to be very long and in that respect there is an argument for not compiling it at all. Sometimes, to be presented with a series of tasks that appears to stretch over the horizon can be intimidating, and even cause a panic attack. I shall try to stay calm. A strong head is required in these circumstances; a strong head and a sturdy heart. Onwards and upwards!

In view of what I was saying above about social protocol, I think that today’s message from Horace is fairly apt: “A portion of mankind take pride in their vices and pursue their purpose; many more waver between doing what is right and complying with what is wrong.” A wake up call, indeed.