1066 And All That!

We're a funny breed, the British. We hate to see the underdog losing at anything (which is why we are such ardent supporters of football, I suppose) and so I always cringe whenever I watch University Challenge because it always seems that one team absolutely bashes the other. I don't understand this – especially when we get to the later rounds when the teams are meant to be the cleverer lot of the bunch. It's quite extraordinary that a team which bashed another in an earlier round (and therefore became viewed as smug at that juncture), suddenly becomes bashed by a different team in the next round. So what happens then? Well, those oh-so-smug young men and women of an earlier round suddenly emerge as our pitied and hapless heroes. Especially if they're good-looking.

So there you have it – we don't actually like winners in this country. So, herein lies the rub: For a nation that so clearly despises success, how come we managed to build the most expansive and most successful empire in the history of the world? It doesn't seem altogether congruous that a breed of people which so often routs for the underprivileged and the downtrodden, should at some point in its long history become one of the most aggressive and belligerent people on earth.

I have the answer. It was those bloody Normans wot did it. The Normans came to this island and performed a magic trick – they bullied us into submission, yet made us into a proud and arrogant people at the same time. Some trick, eh? How strange though, that the French (for it was they) should have exported some trait of character that as a nation, they then instantly lost for themselves. And what do we learn from this? That there is such a thing as a national trait? Sounds a bit jingoistic to me. A bit xenophobic, almost.

So what is a nation anyway? Is it just a team on University Challenge to be cajoled and bullied by the likes of Jeremy Paxman? Your starter for ten: Bzzz! "Harrison of Somerville". Oh, you got it wrong, Harrison of Somerville. Again. Do we feel sorry for you, or were you too smug anyway?

We should all treat our own lives as if we were a nation. We should ensure that we are proud of our achievements, yet we should be humble in our privileges. In the words of Winston Churchill: In war - resolution; in defeat - defiance; in victory – magnanimity. There's a lot of truth in that.