Under Pressure

I did something rather silly the other day. I bought a blood pressure monitor. It says in the instructions that these contraptions are a good idea because by monitoring our blood pressure at home, we get a more accurate reading. Apparently we become artificially stressed when we are in hospital or at the doctor's surgery and this of course distorts the readings.

So, now I keep getting the little machine out of its box, and testing myself to see what's what. Before I started this, I had absolutely no idea what a 'good' or 'bad' reading was – and I didn't really care either because I always feel healthy, despite the huge amounts of abuse I give my body, and so I didn't think there was any cause for alarm. Well, I was wrong. The instructions tell me that an ideal pressure reading should be at, or below, 120/80. The first number is apparently one's systolic blood pressure, which is the highest pressure when the heart beats and pushes the blood round the body. The second number is one's diastolic blood pressure, which is the lowest pressure when the heart relaxes between beats. Fascinating stuff, eh? Well, the whole thing makes me feel a little queasy, I have to say.

Anyway, this little contraption I have gives a reading as you'd expect, but it also gives you the average of all the readings it has taken since I started. I'm a bit disappointed to discover that my average is 139/85 with the highest reading being 141/88 and the lowest 116/75. Now, what do you think is the reason for such variance? The instructions tell you to take readings at roughly the same time of day, in roughly the same frame of mind, and in roughly the same position (seated). I follow these rules, settling myself on the sofa in what I assume is a relaxed state, and yet the readings reveal that on some days I am more agitated than on others. Why is this? Could it be that on some days I more stressed? If so, then the amount of things I have to do all the time should mean that my blood pressure is at a constant high!

Well, little machine – I am going to trick you. The next reading I do will be when I am lying in a darkened room having just meditated, with incense sticks and scented candles burning around me, and with Albinoni or whale music playing on the stereo. Ha! See then if you can find a reading of 141/88 – if you can, I'll take a hammer to your smug little screen and smash it. Oh dear, I don't think I've thought this through somehow......