Do Not Rid Me Of This Fuddlesome Feast!

Well, I had probably the best dinner I've had in many years on Saturday evening. It was (our Producer) Richie's birthday and I had offered to cook for him one of my legendary paellas. Not so, Daniel - the intrepid Director of Triliteral (other stage-play festivals are available) - said that a simple paella was not an adequate treat for our dear boy Richie. Notwithstanding that my paellas are anything but simple, and are usually a tour de force – containing chicken, pork, seven different kinds of fish and seafood, saffron (the most expensive food commodity in the world), and many, many other exotic and tempting ingredients – I agreed with Daniel that to celebrate Richie's birthday, we needed something more; something much more special.

Imagine my amazement when Daniel presented us with twelve courses – yes twelve – each accompanied by a different wine, and each cooked to an absolute perfection. We had a soup course, a pâté course, there was sorbet, three different types of salmon (one marinated in beetroot juice), coq au vin, filet mignon, a pork medallion – the list goes on (and those that I have listed are in the wrong order anyway). The amount of work which had gone into the design and preparation of this diverse and fascinating menu is just overwhelming. We (the guests, that is) didn't care about that – we just sat back and enjoyed ourselves while Daniel did all the hard work – never flagging, he continued to pamper us with perfect dish after perfect dish of delights! To paraphrase one of the twentieth century's greatest statesmen: Never, in the field of gourmet confit, were so many courses, stowed by so few. A gastronomic triumph indeed.

But talking of things Triliteral, events with the festival are moving apace very nicely. The shortlisted scripts are with the judging panel as I write, and their deliberations will be revealed to us on March 31st. It's so exciting because we have no idea which plays will be selected, and as such we have no idea what kind of a cast we will require for the nine forthcoming productions. Even so, the call has gone out for the casting stage (see the website for details if you fancy your chances as an actor – click here), and everything is in place for the realisation of our master plan. The judges are: Nicola Monaghan, prizewinning Nottingham novelist and winner of the Betty Trask Award and the Authors' Club Best First Novel Award; James K Walker, literary editor of the iconic arts magazine Left Lion; Ray Gosling, veteran BBC broadcaster and an old friend of the Triliteral team; and up-and-coming dramaturg Gareth Morgan who is currently doing some splendid work for the Nottingham Playhouse. A glittering panel indeed. We are all intrigued to see the final selection that they produce from their deliberations, and we're very excited.

In fact, so excited that I feel another celebratory dinner coming on.... Chef! Get back to the kitchen!