Flying Squad

I went to see Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd – The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” yesterday, and came out of the cinema afterwards feeling cheapened. What a dreadful film. Okay, it looks gorgeous enough, but it doesn’t do its job properly. Johnny and Helena Bonham-Carter certainly work hard at their individual roles, and the director Tim Burton creates some eye-catching spectacles for us, but there’s something badly flawed about the film as a whole. It’s trying to be both funny and gruesome at the same time, but fails to make the combination work in the same way that, say, Pulp Fiction does. The violence is gratuitous and insulting and I’m angry that I witnessed it – or rather, I’m angry that I was subjected to it.

Mind you, it wasn’t all bad - there were some fabulous performances from the supporting cast, notably Timothy Spall, Alan Rickman and (the genuinely funny) Sacha Baron Cohen; and the set design was marvellous too – the unremitting squalor of Mrs Lovett’s Pie Emporium was a masterpiece, and the grime of the London streets was straight from Hogarth (slightly different era I know, but you get my drift). It was a delight to see Depp’s pretty face twisted and snarling with menace; and of course Bonham-Carter who (as ever) plays battiness with alacrity, looked gorgeous (although you won’t forget her final scene in a hurry).

Notwithstanding that, I suddenly realized about half way through the film that I don’t actually like musicals. And Sweeney Todd is, after all, just that. Is that meant to excuse it perhaps? Not in my view it doesn’t.

But anyway, back to reality. I have to think very seriously about getting some exercise today. I went for an invigorating swim on Saturday, but apart from that I’ve done nothing but raise a glass to my lips all weekend. And struggling to the bottle bank this morning with a sack as weighty as one of Sweeney Todd’s dead bodies, I’ve suddenly realized where all my money has gone. A physical and financial ruin. Oh, pity me. Right, now where did I put that corkscrew...?