Life As We Know It

The image that foreigners have of Britain must present them with something of a dichotomy. I mean, in a recent article regarding immigration we learn that 550,000 people, who clearly thought this is a land fit to live in, took up residence in this country in a single year, mainly from Eastern Europe. On the other hand, we know that many foreigners view us as a nation of uncouth yobs living in a crime-driven and drink-fuelled society where no-one values family life, or even decent food.

How strangely appropriate then, is the poster that the Eurostar operators are using to attract Belgian visitors to this country. It depicts a heavily tattooed, shaven-headed man wearing leather boots and stripped to the waist; his naked back daubed with the cross of St George. I have reproduced the poster here from which you can see that the aforesaid skinhead is urinating into a delicate coffee cup.

I immediately recognized the (somewhat tentative) connection between this image and that of Belgium’s famous Mannekin Pis (or ‘Pee-Boy’ as he is sometimes known), but it nevertheless strikes me as rather odd to make such a connection when many foreigners might fear that the image could represent an awful truth: That visiting London might well subject them to a confrontation with a jingoistic hooligan whose only objective is to piss on them from a great height.

The Eurostar company defends this depiction by saying that Belgians “understand and appreciate the eccentricity of British life”, and claim that “Belgians have a passion and fondness for Britain and really understand our sense of humour."

Really? Well, if this is true, then they must be unique in Europe, or maybe the entire world. And this makes another piece of news I read recently even more alarming - that is that Belgium as a country may soon disappear. Apparently it has been difficult to construct a government in view of the long-standing linguistic split in the country - a split that has more recently developed into more of a nationalistic divide. France believes that Wallonia – the half of Belgium that speaks French – should be absorbed into the French nation because that is what its population wants. There are voices that say the other half of the country – the bit that speaks Flemish – should split to become a new country known as Flanders, or even to be merged into The Netherlands. Belgium would no longer exist.

Startling stuff, and not without its significance to ourselves. Notwithstanding that we would lose the one and only nation that apparently understands our “quirkiness”, but also, where would we be without that well-known party game: Can you name six famous Belgians? The world order crumbles, indeed.