Well, slappa my thigh!

I’m luckier than a lucky star,
and luckier than most by far.
For when a friend one night suggested
(after several beers we had digested)
a visit to the Playhouse Show,
I readily agreed to go!

A Pantomime was last night’s sensation,
An art form peculiar to this nation.
Dick Whittington was the show to behold,
A delight for everyone, both young and old.
Young men in tights, old men as the Mrs,
a cat, some rats, a villain (for the hisses).
A load of bawd, a pile of banter,
the cast racing round at quite a canter.
Dick called to his cat: “Tom, I can’t find you!”
To which we yelled: “Look, he’s behind you!”

There was glitz and glamour, and romance too,
And dirty jokes (plus dirty deeds a few).
King Rat (boo hiss, we love to hate him –
oh, how the audience did berate him).
He plotted to send young Dick and friends
to the ocean’s floor to meet their ends.
His evil plan was quite a shocker,
to trap them inside Davy Jones’s Locker!

Though happily, they did prevail,
and found themselves inside a whale,
before escaping with a treasure chest
(this was the bit in the show that was best),
as we, the audience, donned 3-D specs
and were treated to some stunning effects.
We screamed, we flinched, we rocked with mirth
(I’m sure a woman in my row gave birth).
And then Dick and his crew washed up on the Isthmus,
this whole show was as camp as Christmas!

Unlike most theatre, Panto doesn’t care
even to pretend there’s a 'fourth wall' there,
so should it be said that Panto’s no biz,
we'd loudly shout back: “Oh yes it is!”

Thank you Fintan, for a great night out
(next time, remember, it will be my shout),
but after the hours we spent later in the Dragon,
I think it’s time that I went on the wagon!